over the past week i have felt overwhelmed and frustrated in my role as a wife, a mother, and even just a woman. feelings of failure and fear, of frustration and brokenness, insecurities about my body, and feeling unattractive and ugly. feelings that have been buried for a while but just over the last few days, have begun to peek out from behind the doors of my soul. it's like old skeletons that i thought i had hidden well are coming to life and stepping out into the light. to be honest, it's one of the scariest things that can happen, when those things you thought you were okay with show up on your doorstep to prove you wrong.
a few nights ago, i sent out a group text to women that i can be completely transparent with because there is freedom in transparency and i was ready to be set free. the text was a white surrender flag to show myself that it's time i face the feelings head on, to acknowledge that i am done doing this by myself. i asked for support and prayers.
i know that things just don't turn around over night. joy will come and i will dance knowing that i have truly been set free. today is a new day, with new joys and new sorrows. today is the first day that i am working on me for the first time in a long time. neglecting myself, my health, my happiness, is over because neglecting myself hurts everyone else around me. it doesn't just affect me.
many of you (maybe just the few) read this blog because we are united through creativity. others read this because we are united in our beliefs, but i chose to write this because i think all of us struggle with neglecting ourselves or our feelings. we all have responsibilities that challenge taking time out for ourselves. it's time that we admit what we need and start taking steps to make things better. stop ignoring the warnings and start seeking healing. it's time.