Friday, March 7, 2014

thinning down

every once and while, i get an overwhelming feeling to de-clutter....everything.

it just comes over me and it's all i can do to fight the urge.

we are still apartment living, with the hopes of buying a house in the next year or so. and when we moved into our most recent place, the crunch of space was more then we have ever experienced before. now i'm pretty creative when coming up with places to put things, but living in a place thats only 950 sq ft with little closet space is enough to drive even this mama a bit crazy.

so, i purge. alot. and frequently.

i currently have a pile in my bedroom floor that's ready for charity.

getting rid of clutter means so much more than just going through closets and cabinets. it means getting rid of the clutter that's inside. those pesky thoughts that just won't leave me alone. or the knots that reside in my shoulders from being anxious. how about that feeling when you have to wiggle into your favorite jeans? now, i'm not saying that a few extra pounds is clutter but the feelings associated with unhealthy living is. i'm started taking an hour out of my day to read and journal. journaling allows me to work through some of those pesky thoughts. i have found that just getting them down on paper and out of my head is all i needed.

when i feel a overwhelmed with a situation i can't control, i just take a deep breath and remind myself that i'm not in control and i can't dwell on the lack of control i have.

recently, i've found that my health and how i feel about myself has been cluttered too. i have always struggled with my self-image and my esteem and that doesn't go away when you marry or become a parent. in fact, if it's not dealt with, it only gets worse. so, i've been taking steps to de-clutter that area too. working out when xander goes down for a nap. decreasing the fast food, eating more protein, etc. we have some big trips(!!!!) coming up and i know that i won't enjoy them with all this clutter. so, i'm making sure that i take steps to move into a better place mentally, spiritually, and physically.

i've learned that whenever i have things externally going on, there's always some sort of internal thing going on, too. that's how i work. in this case, i know that the clutter i see, is only the clutter inside me. everything else really doesn't matter. it's important to become self-aware and grow in our understanding of how we work, what we need, and what we desire. if we don't have self-awareness then we are lost to our own failures.


  1. I wish you the best in your de-cluttering. I have some major house de-cluttering to do, myself. But there's so much happening in my life right now, I think it'll have to wait until summer.

    You're right that those negative thoughts we carry don't go away with adulthood, or marriage, or parenthood, but I do think being a mom or wife can be the motivation we need to finally work through them. I know I didn't want some of the thoughts I had about myself influencing my children and how they saw themselves. Motherhood is really what helped me see which of my ideas about myself weren't really balanced, and helped me see myself through a mother's. Which is a kinder perspective.

  2. michelle>>> you brought up something that i really hadn't considered before- that motherhood helped to see which ideas weren't really balanced and helped you see yourself through a mother's thoughts. what a beautiful concept! i was read, "what if marriage was meant to make you holy?" if that's how we approach it, marriage looks completely different. what is motherhood was actually meant to grow you, in ways that nothing else can? thanks so much for your comment. i think i need to ponder on this perspective a bit... XXXX kristen